Dear Brand X,

Yes, you know me…and, by default, my family. You know that my daughter’s basketball uniform needs a de-sweating (is that a word?) three days a week, Or, that the fresh scent of Gain is probably the only reason laundry ever actually gets done in our house (seriously, open the bottle and smell it!). Or, maybe, that nothing pleases me more than my glistening granite counters after a spritz of Windex. Now that my kids are older, I have to worry less about your Magic Eraser, since I don’t really have scuffs and fingerprints on walls so much anymore. Yes, I know that your wares are germ-fighting, odor-zapping magic. And, yes, you know what goes on in my busy household and the ways you can help make us smell, shine and gleam so bright.

However, what you neglect to realize in ALL of this is that all this scrubbing and buffing and spritzing is not all MY responsibility. As a married, working mother, I admit to cooking maybe 10% of the total amount my lovely husband does for our family (he would likely argue I cook less, but I count take out as cooking with air quotes – hey, I picked it up, didn’t I?). And, nothing turns me on more than when I see him vacuum up a mess or my yellow Lab’s hair balls. So why, oh why, do you try to sell me your goods showing the MOM smiling and happy doing all the heavy lifting in the housework?

You know what would make me so excited? Show your lemon-scented wonder in dad’s hands during your TV spot. And, no, not in way that makes him look like a bumbling idiot who can’t work a spray bottle, but, actually have him scuffing and buffing like he means it..and wants to do it….because he’s my partner. Now, THAT would make me drop my dryer sheet and get me running out to buy your products. Why? Because it would be different than the 100% of the ads I see out there in your category and many others, I might add. Sure, I’m still going to do my share as mom, but if you could REALLY see my household as a partnership, that would be fabulous….refreshing, actually, and I think I might really take notice.

I just think we’re beyond these marketing stereotypes, whether a mom works outside of the house or not. It’s like we’ve just transported Ms. Cleaver to a kitchen with granite and stainless steel, but the message is still the same. Sheryl Sandberg says “lean in,” but I say spritz less!